Thank You

I don’t take compliments well, I prefer to give them but I must just say a very gracious Thank you to Jayne for featuring me in her blog xxx

Jayne M Cox WOW Woman Blog

Spare a thought on Mother’s Day

It is so easy to get caught up in your own little world. See all the things that are going wrong and you feel you can’t change. Focus on the pains or the stresses and wonder just how much more you can deal with. We have all done it.

Today however, when I woke, I opened my eyes and realised what a beautiful world I live in.

It is Mother’s Day and I am lucky, I have two beautiful children aged 16 and 13, my endometriosis became invasive and progressive after my children were born. Others aren’t so lucky.

So today, whilst I am immensely grateful that I have my children and my wonderful Mum, I spare a thought for those that are not so fortunate.

So my thoughts and love today go out to those that are trying to start their family, those that have had to come to terms with the fact that they can’t, those that have sadly lost their Mum and those who’s Mum may still be with them but are fighting their own battle with Illness.

It is you who are strong, it is you whom I admire today! 💗

New Year, New Journey

Happy New Year!

I know I am a few days in now but the sentiment is still so very strong. It is a new year, a time when people make resolutions but many will have broken them already!

When you stop for a moment and truly look at your life it should be a reflection on what is good and positive and any changes you want to make should only serve to enhance that which is already there.

That however, is the difficult task!

It easy easy to think “I want to lose weight, stop smoking or drinking or even stop feeling miserable”. However, when you say these things you are only focussing on the negatives you see in yourself.

A few years ago on New Years Eve my life could not have been much worse. I was in the middle of a tortuous divorce, my health both mental and physical was at its lowest ebb and my weight because of the insulin resistance was spiralling. Every aspect of my life was in trauma, physically, mentally and emotionally. I too did the “in the New Year I have to make some changes” speech. I too, by the third day in had already broken my resolutions only adding to what I saw as the despair.

Somehow in the months to follow I found myself drawn in to Buddhism. Like anything I do I read every book and piece of information I could find. I had never felt comfortable “following” a religion but Buddhism is not a religion to be followed. It is a life you choose to follow.

It has allowed me to see the beauty in what I have around me. It has allowed me to see the positive in my life and the changes I choose to make now are to enhance that.

So this new year I am making another choice. I am choosing to follow a new journey….. as it happens one of the films that represent the journey is a favourite of mine.

My journey this year will teach me how to eat properly to support my insulin resistance and endometriosis, it will help me explore the person I rediscovered during my trip to Romania and finally, I hope, it will allow me to fully love someone again.

How I follow this journey and who takes it with me, only time will tell! However, the first instalment is already planned with one of my closest friends. Rome, we are on our way….

So do not look to make changes, follow a new journey and remember every path you take it’s one step at a time but don’t forget to look at the beauty around you as you go…..

It’s Christmas Eve

It’s the 23rd December 2012, but in my house its Christmas Eve!

This will be the forth Christmas since my husband and I went our separate ways and as with any divorce involving children, someone has to be without them on Christmas Day. This year it’s my turn.

My children aren’t small any more, they are 13 and 16 and only pretend to believe to keep me happy because Christmas is one of my most favourite times of the year.

From when they were small I would do all the usual things, decorate, cook, write letters to Santa that I had to try and look in before they were posted! Every year as she got older my daughter would put a little “request” in of Santa, first it was an unusual soft toy and things that were hard to find but not unmanageable. Then one year, she was about 8 or 9 and starting to question whether Santa was actually real. “I’m going to ask Santa for proof” she announced whilst writing her letter. To say I was a little panicked is an understatement, she did everything she could so I did not see her letter but just by luck I managed to sneak a look.

“Dear Santa, Mum says I should tell you I have been good and what I would like for Christmas. If you are really Santa all I would like is a footprint from Rudolph. Thank you, love Maddy”

I nearly fell off my chair! Why did I leave it til 10days before Christmas to write a letter? How was I going to pull this one off?

Then I had a brainwave! Near to us is a fantastic little zoo called “Paradise Park” and they have reindeer! I was straight on the phone “this may sound a strange request but I am a mum who’s daughter has challenged Santa and I need help”……

Christmas Eve we did all the usual, sausage roll and a baileys for Santa (keeps him warm I tell her) and a carrot for the reindeer. Off she went to bed and said “I don’t think Santa is real, Mummy” my heart sank, this was it the time when my little girl no longer believed. “Who else will fill your stocking?”I asked. She shrugged her little shoulders and just got in to bed.

A little past 6am and I was woken by my baby girl jumping on my bed waving something at me. “He’s real, he’s real” was about all I could make out.

In her hands was a piece of green shiny card that had a big hoof print on it and just two words “always believe”!

So, the challenges stopped and to this day at 16 she looks at me with a smile and says “I believe”.

The day may change from year to year but the magic never has to end. Life is what you make it!

I may be on my own this Christmas Day, just me, the dogs, leftovers and bad TV but I will have a warm heart knowing that my children had a magical Christmas……

Waking Up!

My last post was about being thankful! After my car accident I am extremely grateful I am waking up on this Autumn Saturday morning no matter how wet and miserable it is outside.

However, in exactly 3 weeks time I shall be waking up in a very different place, I shall be waking up in Romania with the wonderful people at Volunteer Romania.

I’ve been told to expect it to be “hard”!
Hard work I am used to. A hard life – we had it tough growing up but it made me who I am. Hard emotionally – now that’s the one that everyone says “I couldn’t do it” to.

So despite it being “hard” I will be putting that aside and I will be waking up in Romania in 3 weeks because I want to make a DIFFERENCE in the lives of these children instead of just thinking “I can’t”.

If you want to follow my journey and make a difference you can do so here and on twitter @angelajspencer
Please make sure you retweet the message!

Happy 13th Birthday Son!

There’s many things that go through your mind when you’re woken up by an excited 13yr old on his Birthday! I thought of the day he was born, how happy he has made me over the years and yes, I also thought about getting old! I did not however, think that all of that could have been taken away in the blink of an eye!

So we opened presents and had breakfast and I left the house with a smile on my face promising to be back in an hour or so after I had seen a friend of mine.

With my friend in the car we were innocently driving along the road when suddenly a car turned to cross my path without stopping. It hit me full force pushing us across the road up on to the pavement and in to the front of a pub!

All three emergency services later I was being taken out of the back of the car on a back board and off to hospital where I spent the next 5hrs in X-ray and a lot of pain!

Eventually I was allowed home with severe whiplash, bruised clavicle and spine and a compressed disc but thankfully nothing broken!

So on my son’s first day as a teenager I am thankful! Thankful I was able to come home again and see him, thankful no one was on the pavement in front of the pub and thankful for the amazing emergency services who’s professionalism and care allowed me to say..

Happy 13th Birthday Son!

WARNING: Is Instagram Dangerous?

I am the Mum of two children (16 and 12), so when my daughter badgered me to join Instagram and follow her I thought “can’t hurt at least I’ll know what she’s doing”. So I joined and I followed a few people who followed me and I posted pictures of family and things that interested me such as macro shots of flowers. My son joined it too and is mainly concerned about having more followers than my daughter than anything else. This is where the danger starts to creep in though because there is no restriction on age for one and I have seen children as young as 7 on it posting pictures and also the “followback” mentality that is pushed means they turn that little button green without looking to see if the posts are suitable.

So, are they suitable???? In some cases NOT AT ALL! There are two things that are seriously worrying me; 1 – there are very young girls posting provocative and revealing pictures of themselves for ANYONE who cares to follow them to see! And 2 – there are “users” who are posting content that is pretty much soft porn without any regard for who is following them!

I found myself being followed by “an unknown” let’s say. When I looked at their profile they were only following 6 people – me, my son, my daughter and 3 of these “soft porn” users. Needless to say “WARNING!!!” flashed in my head. This person had no profile details or picture, hadn’t posted any pictures themselves so you couldn’t tell who they were and at that time no followers.

I made my children “block” the user as I was very concerned but I kept an eye on it for the next two days. This user continued to follow other “soft porn” as well as other young girls. Worryingly, 2 of those young girls followed back!

I myself blocked them too only to find out an hour or so later, quite by chance, that this user was actually the 12yr old son of a friend of mine.

I am appalled that there are many news reports about the “over sexualisation of our children” yet this can blatantly be happening without any control on Instagram! Not only are girls (and possibly boys I haven’t looked to see) posting sexualised images of themselves for “anyone” to see but people such as “bits and biddies”are purposely posting images unsuitable for children!

Now “boys will be boys” I know but there is something very different to years ago when they would “get a crafty look at a top shelf magazine” to the blatant sexual images they can download on their phone in secrecy!

Is it me, or are people now more concerned about “how much fame or followers” they can get than what is actually right or wrong?

So come on Instagram, sort it out! I for one love using Instagram to see the world through the eyes of others, see places I will never otherwise get to see but there are those degrading the spirit of it’s origin not to mention taking advantage of the innocence of youth. The world is an expansive technological one but it must remain a moral one or the next generation will become a lost one!

Sweet Sixteen

Well this week has seen the “sweet sixteenth” Birthday of my daughter. As parents we worry so much, have we done everything right? Have we been a good parent? Is there even a right or wrong way of bringing up a child?

I see before me a beautiful, kind, thoughtful, respectful and conscientious young woman. I guess I did something right!

My Mum “I told you so”!

As a teenager we can’t even perceive that our parents were once our age. What do they know about being a teenager?

Now I am the Mum and my daughter is 15 with her first boyfriend. Can I possibly understand what she is going through? Well yes, I was 15 once and thank goodness she is NOTHING like I was at her age (Mum, I apologise profusely!) but in her eyes, I’m just “Mum” and I’m “old”.

I can almost hear my Mum say “one day, when you have your own children, you will understand!” I am waiting for the “I told you so” Love you Mum!